Living With People is Hard...

I knew that going from my own space for 4 years into a roommate situation would be tough, but I don't think it was possible to fully prepare myself for it. I like to believe that I'm a social creature that loves being around others all the time. Life however, keeps proving me wrong. I'm more loner than I like to admit. Time spent alone in my own head is quite enjoyable, as twisted as that may seem. I miss the days of coming home from work, going into my apartment cave, and having the liberty to sit down in front of the TV by myself for the entire evening. If I chose not to talk to anyone the whole night, I didn't have to. I don't even have TV here. Been surviving on fancast.com which doesn't have all my favorite shows, but it suffices. I'm finding ways to cope with my cohabitation. Taking long walks after work have allowed me some shelly time. I'll find my way and adjust appropriately. It will just take time.

Also, I've really been missing people from home. Now that 2 1/2 months have passed, its become reality that I'm not going to see most of my loved ones anytime soon. The newness has worn off a little and routine is setting in. I predicted that by September these feelings would be creeping up. I miss people that truly know me, inside and out. People who know my heart and my nature. Those that don't judge me upon a single incident or interaction. I miss people who are genuine and real. Miss my family like crazy. Miss my peanuts and I know they are growing so fast. Many of them back to school, starting a year of things that I will not be around to see. Payton is playing football again this fall and I won't be there to attend his games. The other kids growing, changing and becoming their own people more and more everyday. These are things that I realize I gave up in order to come out here, but it still hurts. Time will make things better and easier. I will find my place and meet more new amazing people to add to those I've already met. Its just that new people cannot replace the voids I made by leaving the ones I love back home. That is a fact that is hard to swallow. 

I do love Los Angeles and am so happy with my decision to come here. I drive around and am in constant awe of what is around me. It still feels like the right choice and the right place for me. These are just the things that I knew I'd have the hardest time with. Missing people and missing my place. Sometimes its good to struggle and to face adversity. Makes us stronger and we realize more of who we are and who we want to be. I needed this challenge.

Until next time...